


Marlboro Red

by schoolboyblue



Category: Braincels, Incels, Inceltears
Genre: Ascension, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, This is reddit and benedryl's fault and i deserve to be mercy killed, incel has An Experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 00:29:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schoolboyblue/pseuds/schoolboyblue
Summary: A story of ascension





	Marlboro Red

It started with a football, a football and a bout of misplaced anger. 

Leroy clutched the ball until his knuckles were white, his hair whipping into his eyes and rage threatening to come spilling out of his mouth with the heat of Prometheus’ fire. Chad. Fucking Chad. Leroy had been minding his business sitting in the grass just outside of the football field and that fucking blond beefcake hurtled his ball at Leroy’s lap, nearly breaking his laptop. And he didn’t mean beefcake in a good way, Chad was the kind of naturally built god, sculpted to the proportions of David’s Michelangelo, Jaw chiseled by Mother Nature herself. It was sickening. It made him feel even more like clawing his skin off with his fingernails. He itched for a cigarette.

“Hey, sorry about that man. Can I get my football back?” Chad asked easily, casting him a sideways smile that shot through Leroy like a smoldering piece of tinder. Leroy paled at the words, for some reason he felt his throat restrict when Chad addressed him directly. He tossed back the football and dumbly didn’t say anything as Chad jogged back onto the field. He tried not to look at the way his blond hair looked in the sun. 

What the fuck had just happened? 

Later that night as Leroy stood in the shower letting scorching water hit his back, he replayed the interaction in his head. He should have been angry, he was angry, he just couldn’t get the words out. That’d never happened before, for Leroy it was easy to let a string of profanities and threats fall off his lips, usually at his mother or sister. They deserved it, so he’d given it to them. Chad deserved it, and for some reason the words stayed a lump in his throat, only to be heard by himself. Uncanny. 

He later typed out the whole incident in vivid detail to post on an online forum, he was flooded with anger matching his own and took comfort in the replies of ‘you should have raped his sister in front of him, what a cuck’ and ‘you were upset because you were reminded of the fact that you’d never be him, that happens to me sometimes’. It gave him a sense of reassurance and quelled his crippling fear of abandonment to have peers at his fingertips that think just like him. It was all pretty routine, but a comforting routine nonetheless. 

He had a cigarette. 

After about 15 minutes and a few more cigarattes, he’d calmed down, he opened a new tab to pull up some crappy Netflix show and relax but the endeavor was cut short with another notification. This time it was to inform him that someone had reposted his story. 

With annoyance tugging at the corners of his mouth and ash threatening to fall onto his keyboard, he opened the IncelTears page. Sure enough, there was his post. This wasn’t super unusual and he could usually deal with IT, but something made his stomach jump into his throat. The top comment was ‘sounds like someone has a crush on Chad.’ Leroy froze. He felt blood rush to his face, heating his ears and under his eyes. No, he absolutely did not have a crush on Chad. Of course he didn’t have a crush on Chad, that would’ve been insane. This was jealousy, this wasn’t attraction, this wasn’t anything close to attraction. 

This wasn’t anything close to attraction. 

•

He didn’t sleep well that night, he thrashed in his sleep and tried to ignore the intruding thoughts about the crush comment, the interaction, how much he fucking hated Chad, and admittedly how badly he want to see what was under the tight polyester football jersey. He assumed well defined abs, because of course he’d have well defined abs. Leroy would’ve been able to feel the muscles twitching under the thin layer of skin if he were to flatten a palm over Chad’s stomach. He would’ve been able to feel heat radiating off of Chad’s body, bleeding into his if they were pressed together. He would have felt if Chad’s hair was silky, or masculine and rough, or sweaty with exertion after practice. He would’ve been able to count the freckles dusted over Chad’s nose, had he leaned in towards his face, just enough to see his individual eyelashes.

Leroy felt his dick twitch with interest and quickly stuffed every thought down somewhere he could keep it airtight and out of the way. This was the last thing he needed. Fucking Chad getting into his head. 

•

The next morning Leroy took a little extra time analyzing himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth. He was grateful the mirror still had his sticky notes on it to remind him of what exactly is wrong with his appearance, they also helped obscure his view a little bit, forcing him to take in his reflection piece by piece.. His eyes sloped slightly downwards, the circles under his eyes looked even deeper than usual, his nose bent in a way that distracted from anything pleasant about his face. Not that there was anything pleasant about his face, his eyes were blue but they were a kind of cold steel-y blue that gave him the gentleness of a starved shark. He was angry, angry at anything and everything. This wasn’t what he wanted, this wasn’t what he asked for, he wanted to be fucking normal but his whore mother had cursed him at birth, she’s fucking given him the genetic makeup of a toad. Or a shriveled newt writhing on the sidewalk. Or a pig purely raised out of the drive for money and slaughter, or a-

He cut himself off. He was going to be late to school. 

The only reason Leroy was still in school was because his mother had threatened to kick him out if he tried to drop out, and he didn’t doubt her willingness to do it. This might have been alright but he was skinny and easily cold and had no idea how to go about staying in a shelter/ renting his own place. Now that he was thinking about it he concluded that neither of those options would accept him, not with the way he looked. Not with the way he was born. He was the black sheep, even in a household of only 3. It wasn’t explicitly expressed, because everyone was phony and manipulative, but he knew how his mom and sister felt about him, he knew how hated he was. The masks and smiles were as easy to see through it was as if they weren’t there at all. It hurt a bit, but there was something about the disappointment and shame that felt necessary. He was just getting what he deserved. 

The next time he saw chad was when he was changing in the locker rooms. Leroy had been hiding out there to avoid the cheerleading team as they practiced every Tuesday, there was a limit to how much humiliation he allowed himself to endure. Their voices were shrill and grating, judgmental eyes would’ve torn through him like tacks through wet paper. He thumbed his way through a book, not really reading the words his eyes skated over but listening to the few people in the locker room. They were talking about sex, they usually talked about sex. It was hard to hear a crippling reminder that he was, and probably will always be, a virgin. He listened anyways, this insight might’ve been the only he’d get for a while. He realised he was only half listening, something about not wanting to wear a condom with his girlfriend, something about drinking and meeting a girl at a party. It was getting increasignly more nauseating but impossible to tear away from. Like a car crash. He stayed. 

Chad came bustling in with a good half of the football team and flashed his teeth at anything that moved, including Leroy. The group of guys came with a wave of noise pollution and the unmistakable heavy scent of sweat and testosterone. It wasn’t terrible, it was just acutely masculine in a way Leroy had never been. He itched for a cigarette. He cursed the fact he’d left his lighter at home.

The familiar closing up of his throat and blush creeping up his neck got worse as Chad started to peel off his jersey. He did have defined abs, of course he had defined abs. Leroy fought the urge to keep his eyes glued on the stupidly perfect body in front of him, he pulled his knees up and used his book as a sort of shield. Chad was evenly tan despite playing in a short sleeved uniform. He squirmed in his seat. 

The rest of the players finished up quickly and were soon gone, something about getting pizza together and hanging out. Chad declined, citing the meal of meat and potatoes from yesterday he didn’t want to waste. They didn’t push him, they left him to towel off his hair and take his time freshening up. 

Leroy jumped a little bit when Chad spotted him and startled. 

“Holy fuck man, I didn’t know you were in here, you scared the shit out of me” he said with a breathy laugh, clutching his chest theatrically. His teeth shouldn’t have been that white. 

“Your fault for not seeing me, dick” Leroy spit back, the words felt like battery acid on his tongue, the sharp edge of the statement cutting through the friendly atmosphere. It felt.. bad? Chad paused with surprise.

“Sorry, you’re right I didn’t” Chad said as he started twisting open the combination lock on his locker. Leroy sat in silence feeling uncharacteristically guilty for snapping at him. Leroy was about to open his mouth to say something when Chad cut him off. “I’ve been meaning to ask, you have a girlfriend? I see you hang out with this girl all the time and we’ve all been wondering.” 

“I.. I don't.” Leroy said as he felt his heartbeat pounding against his ears. He would have lied but something about Chad scared and excited him, there was something that drove him to be honest even if he was throwing himself into the social equivilent of a burning car. 

“That’s weird, huh.” Chad said, the casual words cutting through the thick layer of definsiveness quicker than anything else ever had, he’d never had someone imply he should’ve had a girlfriend. 

“Why is that weird?” 

“I mean you’re a nice looking guy, just seems like you’d have a girl is all.” Chad shrugged and rattled off, focusing on pulling a pair of casual tennis shoes out of his locker. Leroy’s chest felt tight, this was the first time someone had said something so mildly complimentary. 

“What?” Leroy said dumbly, frozen in his place with surprise. Chad spoke easily, like he’s had this conversation millions of times. There wasn’t a tense bone in his body. His stupid, stupid handsome body. 

“You’re cute.” Chad looked up and made eye contact. His eyes were warm and brown.

A couple minutes passed before Leroy decided he would continue the conversation, the compliment rattled him but also made him feel a bit better. Maybe Chad was into something. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Leroy asked, thinking about how stupid the words were as they left his mouth. 

“Nah, girls aren’t really my thing.” Leroy audibly exhaled through his nose at this, of course girls were Chad’s thing. He had no idea why he’d lie about something to transparent, and something he should’ve shown off at that. 

“What, are you some kind of faggot?” The second Chad’s face fell, Leroy regretted saying it. It was silent for a beat until Chad replied. 

“I mean, I like guys yeah.” His cheeks were dusted light pink but he sounded confident and self assured. Leroy crinkled his nose. 

“Terrible choice, 90% of men are so ugly.” Leroy unfolded his legs. 

“It’s not a choice, you know, I just happened to like guys. And I guess I’ve gotten lucky them because all my boyfriends have been hot.” He said playfully, smiling with his teeth again, this time to himself. 

“Maybe I just don’t get it, men are gross.”

“You think I’m gross?” Chad looked almost hurt.

“.. No. You’re not gross.” Leroy says slowly, the same impulse from before that stopped him from lying to Chad. He watched the muscles in Chad’s back move as he picked up his duffel back to stuff into the locker. The comment on his reposted story seared into his skull. 

Sounds like someone has a crush on chad. It played again and again like a mantra. 

“What’s your name?” The question was awkwardly shoved into the conversation, Chad suddenly turned around showed a mild interest. 

“Leroy.” A smile slid onto Chad’s lips. 

“Ok Leroy, have you ever been with a guy?” It wasn’t a smile anymore, it was something deeper, something plotting. The question would’nt have carried so much weight had Chad not been eyeing him up like prey and walking slowly over. 

“I haven’t” Leroy’s heart hammered against the wall of his chest. Was this happening? This wasn’t happening. 

“Do you wanna see what it’s like?” Chad asked, the question loaded and fired at him faster than he could comprehend. “It’s not bad, I mean, if you ask me” Something in Chad’s eyes flashed dark, Leroy realized the term ‘hunter eyes’ wasn’t far off at all. Holy shit this was happening. 

Like he was being possessed by a tentative ghost he set his book down beside him and stood. Chad took the nonverbal compliance and came over, crowding Leroy against the wall of lockers. He could see his individual blond eyelashes, he would’ve been able to see his fucking pores if he chose to. Chad didn’t have as many freckles as he’d assumed, and he was still beautiful up close. Maybe even a little more. 

Chad and Leroy were inches apart, Leroy was painfully aware of his lips, the air being shared between them and the heat he thought he could feel radiating off of Chad’s body, even though they weren’t yet touching. He barely registered the sensation of lips gently brushing over his own. He froze and felt Chad lean in to kiss him, once, chastely. Holy shit his lips were softer than he’d expected, it made sense though, Chad was perfect. Chad was so infuriatingly perfect. 

“This ok?” Chad asked with a whisper, Leroy felt his breath on his lips. He nodded. 

Instead of replying with words Leroy leaned forward and crushed his mouth against Chad’s, effectively startling him and earning a chuckle through his nose. He felt a strong hand wind around the back of his head, anchoring him and keeping him in place. As is he’d try to leave. He wasn’t aware of Chad pushing against the wall of lockers until his fingers fell against cold metal, he quickly moved his hand to the back of Chad’s neck. He burned hot. 

There was something dizzying about not only being around Chad, but kissing him. There was something nauseating and exciting about his body against Leroy’s. Chad set a hand against Leroy’s hip, it was large and strong but not pressing, it was as if Chad didn’t want to cross a line with him without explicitly being given permission, it was sweet. And frustrating. 

Leroy took the reigns and slipped his unoccupied under Chad’s shirt briefly before losing confidence and retreating, Chad caught his wrist and firmly pressed his hand against the bare skin of his waist. Ok, they definitely were doing this. 

Chad broke the kiss and moved to work on Leroy’s neck, his eyes nearly blurred when he felt one of the strong warm hands brush against the front of his pants. 

Everything was white for a second and then it was over, Leroy pushed Chad away and knocked him briefly off balance. 

“Are you ok?” Chad asked, warm brown eyes looking confused but more so genuinely concerned. 

“Yeah, I just-” Leroy stumbled over the words, feeling his face turn beet red. God this wasn’t what he needed right now. Chad’s face softened with understanding. 

“Don’t sweat it” He smiled and pulled a pad of sticky notes out of his pocket. “You got a pen?” 

“Uh, yeah hang on” Leroy’s fingers embarrassingly shook as he retrieved a pen from the front pocket of his backpack. He handed it over a little confused. “What-” 

He was cut off by Chad scribbling on it quickly, ripping it off, and pressing the sticky note onto Leroy’s chest. 

“Call me.” It wasn’t a question, Leroy would call him. Of course Leroy would call him.

Chad grabbed his things and left as easily as he’d walked in.

What the fuck had just happened?


End file.
